All She Wrote
by KittieKat121
Summary: AH/AU Alice had nothing, no one to turn to, no reason to carry on. Everyday is a morbid repeat of the last. She writes letters to express her pain, posting them with no address. Jasper, son of the owner of the post office, reads the letters and is shocked, but is he too late to save Alice...from herself? Not a very good summary, but read it! T for distressing content and language.
1. Step One - Monday

**This is completely different from my usual type of fanfic, but i'm trying something new. Some of it is loosely based on the song 'All She Wrote' by Ross Copperman, but most of it is all my own. All human.**

**DISCLAIMER: I do not own twilight or it's characters, and i do not own the song 'All She Wrote' - no copyright intended :)**

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**Step One ~ Monday**

**Alice POV**

I picked up my school bag and made my way out of the front door of my cold house into the slightly colder outdoors. I was already late, but i didn't bother rushing. None of my teachers would care. If they noticed.

I slipped into the classroom twenty minutes late and Mr Jordan carried on teaching his History class without looking up as i slid silently into a seat in the back corner. I brought out my notepad and began to scribble in it, paying no attention to the lesson being taught around me. When the bell rang to signal the end of the lesson, i looked down at what I'd been drawing almost unconsiously for the past fourty minutes. A small huddled figure sat in the middle of the page, surrounded by black shapes; Arrows pointing at the figure, zig-zags and jagged angles, scribbles and messy doodles. The black shapes seemed to be closing in around the figure - they were closer than the last time I'd drawn this particular scene, although that hadn't been for a few weeks now.

I quickly closed the notebook and shoved it deep into my bag. I didn't like the places my mind wandered to when i mentally switched off. I didn't plan my drawings, they just happened, whilst i stared off into space. They were never nice drawings, and i didn't dare flip back through my notebooks to look at some of the horrible things i had absentmindedly drawn over the past few years.

I only got knocked in the corridors twice on the way to my next class, which shone a glimmer of hope on my otherwise crap looking day. At least people weren't walking _through_ me today, as if i didn't exist - they just didn't care if they walked into me. As i settled down in my usual seat - back right corner - Stacey Appleberry glided into the room. With a name like Stacey Appleberry, you just _know_ she's going to be a completely fake, peroxide blonde popular girl. You wouldn't be wrong.

Her girlish giggles filled the classroom and echoed eerily around my mind as she tried to attract the attention of every boy in the room by covering her lips with bubblegum-pink lip gloss. Her second-in-command-slash-best-friend Chelsea was perched on the desk beside her, tossing her chesnut curls out of the way so that her cleavage was in full view. They disgusted me, and yet i couldn't help being desperately helplessly jealous of them. They were pretty, they were popular, they were _noticed_. Okay, they were stupid, but so was i.

I had been cursed with having Stacey in nine of my classes this year, and Chelsea in seven. In six of those classes, the insufferable pair were together, and it _killed_ me. I closed my eyes and shut off my mind in an attempt to drown out the endless noise and just...everyone. I wanted to be alone, not stuck in a room full of these people.

When i opened my eyes, the lesson had started. I looked down at my hands, and where my fingernails had been digging into my palms there were little red cresent shapes. I rubbed them, willing them to go away, but they didn't. It was okay though, they would fade in a little while.

I suffered through the rest of the day, as i did every day, and trailed home using all my energy not to drag my bag along the ground behind me. I let myself into the house and shut the door against the cold November air. I was all alone in the house, so i shut myself in the lounge and turned on the mini heater. It took a while to warm up, and only increased the room temperature by a few degrees, but it was the only kind of heat we had, since we stopped paying the heating bills.

I led down on the hard wooden boards of the floor, kicking off my shoes and staring up at the peeling white-ish-gray ceiling. I closed my eyes, and when i opened them again it was dark. I sat up wearily, and glanced out the window. It was past midnight, and no one else was home yet. That probably meant i was alone for the night. I considered going to my bedroom, but the tiny heater had only warmed the lounge, so i grabbed my blankets and settled down on the couch.

I wanted the sleep to envelop me, to take me in and take over all my thoughts. That way i didn't have to really think about anything. At the same time i dreaded sleep. If i slept, it meant i would wake up and would have to start again tomorrow. The mental battle went on in my head until my body took over and i drifted off to sleep.

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**Heyy, so i hope you like it. What do you think of Alice's character? I wasn't too sure, but i thought i would give it a try and go all out there! Please review to tell me what you think!**

**Sorry it was such a short chapter, the later chapters will get longer and more will happen in them - this is just so you can get a feel of Alice and the setting and stuff.**

**Just a warning, this story will probably get pretty depressing so if you're looking for a happy story, you're not really in the right place. Will it have a happy ending? Truthfully...i haven't decided yet, could go either way.**

**Next update will be soon, see you then.**

**~Kat**


	2. Step Two - Repeat

**Step Two ~ Repeat**

**Alice POV**

_Tuesday morning; Wake up at 6 o'clock, fall back asleep until 7 o'clock, drag yourself out of bed and throw on whatever outfit is nearest - no one's going to be looking at your clothes anyway - grab something to eat if you feel like it and if you have any food in the house, pick up your school bag, leave your house._

_Tuesday lunch time; Go to the school library, find the darkest corner you can, sit down, shut out the world as you draw disturbing pictures of whatever your brain wants to._

_Tuesday afternoon; Endure-slash-ignore your lessons and draw more of your messed up drawings, force your feet to walk home, let yourself in, have some food - you haven't eaten all day, have you? - sleep._

_Wednesday; Repeat._

_Thursday; Repeat._

_Friday; Repeat._

I scrumpled up the sheet of paper and shoved it deep down into my bag. I'd written the note to myself sometime on Monday, and it was eery how so far my week had gone exactly that way. The post-it note on my fridge this morning had told me it was Thursday today, though it felt like i'd been at school for more than four days now. I could never count on myself to remember the time or date, sometimes i zoned out for almost entire days and i could never really be sure when one day blurred into the next. I never really cared either.

Gym today. An opportunity for people to release stress and make themselves happy. Normal people did this by running, climbing the ropes, playing volleyball. I did it by shutting myself in the changing room and closing my mind to the world. By the time the girls came back into the changing room, unaware of my presence, the yellow wall beside me was decorated in black permanant marker. A small, far off sunshine, and lower down, a hand desperately reaching for it. I shuddered and stood up, making my way out of the changing room before anyone else was changed.

I walked through the empty corridors, glad i'd gotten out of the lesson earlier than anyone else. It meant i could walk to my next lesson without facing the sea of people who didn't understand i was physical matter that they wouldn't walk through.

No one was home again that evening. I'd been alone all week, but that was fine with me. It was better this way. I didn't like shutting myself in my room, hearing people downstairs going about their normal lives. It made me feel sick. It made me angry. It made me...never mind.

I curled up in the bay-window seat and looked out at the sky, splattered with stars. Or at least, what looked like stars. I was pretty sure if you looked at any of them closely enough, they were moving, and flashing red lights. It was easy to mistake airplanes for stars, but i knew that it wasn't the same. I closed my eyes, and the mental battle for sleep VS no sleep ended fairly quickly.

_Thurday; Check._

_Friday; Repeat._

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**Heyy, just another really short chapter (Sorry). The storyline will pick up soon, and the next chapter will be up REAAALLY soon, i promise. And it will be longer.**

**Thanks to everyone who reviewed/favourited/followed :) Didn't think this story would take off as well as it has, so i'm really glad :) Please keep reading + reviewing!**

**Thanks**

**~Kat**


	3. Step Three - Have a Breakdown

**Step Three ~ Have a Breakdown**

**Alice POV**

Friday was supposed to be a good day. It meant i only had one day left until i was free to lock myself away for the weekend. It started out the same as any other Friday, or any other day of my repetative life, to be honest.

The drawing of the day was a butterfly, pinned to the wall and bleeding. I wasn't sure whether my drawings were getting better or worse, but i knew that they made me hate my very being for creating them. The worst lesson of the day was Chemistry - my teacher has the kind of voice that is almost impossible to blank out, but i managed it after ten minutes. Everything was going normally, just a repeat of the four other days this week.

It was just about lunch time when things started to unravel.

Sat in the library as usual, something very _unusual _happened. Well, several things actually. Firstly, Stacey Appleberry walked into the library - did she even know what a library _was_? Second, she wasn't with Chelsea - were those two _ever_ apart when they didn't absolutely _have_ to be? Third, the person she _was_ with was a guy i'd never seen before - and everyone knew everyone in this small little town. I thought it was weird at the time, but things were only just starting to get weird...

"Look at this!" She said, thrusting what looked like a newspaper at the guy.

"What about it?" He asked

"Read the front page!" Stacey said, annoyed

" _'Appleberry - Fraud and Fake?' _" The guy read out loud, "Hey, is this about your Dad?"

"Yes!" Stacey snapped. The guy skimmed the article, his frown growing deeper every second.

"How much of this is true?" He asked

"None of it!" Stacey shrieked

"They must have gotten in from somewhere...they've got names of shareholders, order details, contracts...Stacey, stop looking at me like that! I'm just saying it how it is!" The guy told her

"It is _not_ true! How can you say that? About your own uncle!" Stacey said. So, this was her cousin.

"Stace, i'm not saying i agree with it, i'm just pointing out the truth - there's a lot of evidence here." He said. Stacey shrieked again.

"You know what, i'm going to find the person who wrote this article and personally stab them until they bleed to death!" She said

"_Declan Cullen_." The guy read out. Oh shit.

"Cullen?" Stacey asked, narrowing her eyes. They settled on me, sat a little way away, staring at the floor, but she was still talking to the guy, who had his back to me. "I'm going to kill him."

I bolted out of the library before she could say anything to me. No one at school had spoken a word to me in almost a year, and i intended to keep that pattern going. I wasn't in control of my legs as i ran into the toilets and locked myself in a cubicle. I wasn't in control of anything. I couldn't control what my Dad wrote about in his newspaper, hell i didn't even see him 25 days out of the month. I fumbled in my bag for something, _anything_, to take my sudden pain away. I couldn't find anything useful. I hadn't needed anything recently, i had been 'good' for almost two months now.

I felt my keys digging into my leg in my pocket as i sat on the toilet seat. I pulled them out and looked at the jagged edge of my house key. I couldn't stop the tears from falling as i tested it's sharpness on my finger. I pulled my sweater over my head, revealing my bare arms. The marks from last time had gone. They always did. I was careful, you see. I never went deep enough to leave a scar, never deep enough to do serious damage. And that made it okay. I was in control - it was the only thing i _could_ control. I decided where i did it, when i did it, how deep, what shape, how many times i did it...

I pressed the key lightly against the side of my upper arm, decided where i wanted it to be. Then i pushed down, hard, and pulled the key along sharply. A flash of pain cut through my body, and then i relaxed. I pulled the key away and held it on my lap, closing my eyes for a second before looking down at the white line i had made. _I_ had made that. _I_ had controlled it. In about an hour, it will have changed from white to bright pinky-red, and in a few days it will be gone. It hadn't really been deep at all this time.

I considered whether i wanted to do more. I had just decided that no, i didn't, when the bathroom door opened and someone clacked in with 5-inch heels on their feet. Two people; one with buble-gum pink heels, and one with cherry-red heels. I brought my feet up so that they wouldn't know anyone was in the cubicle, and held my breath.

"I swear, Chels, I'm gunna kill him."

"Stacey, calm down. Remember what _Cosmo_ says; stress gives you wrinkles."

"Dad's not going to be happy about this. _I'm_ not happy about this."

"Do you think he'll sue?"

"Jasper said he'd have no grounds to sue because the newspaper stuck to the official guidlines or whatever. And he's a lawyer, he would know."

"He's not a lawyer, he's a senior."

"Well, whatever, he _will_ be a lawyer."

"Yeah, after high school and college and law school..."

"Shut up Chelsea! God, as if i didn't have enough to deal with!"

Stacey stormed out of the bathroom, and Chelsea followed. I let out a breath. I looked down and had to close my eyes to block it out. Whilst they'd been arguing, three perfect cuts had appeared next to the first one, and i was gripping the golden key in my other hand so hard my knuckles were turning white. I slid it back into my pocket, and pulled my jumper on over the fresh cuts. After checking my face in the mirror, and covering up any signs of crying with make-up - not that anyone would notice anyway - i slipped out of the bathroom. Nothing had happened. Just a normal Friday.

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**Heyy, so umm...what do you think?**

**Please keep reading and reviewing, next update soon.**

**~Kat**


	4. Step Four - Justify Your Actions

**Step Four ~ Justify Your Actions**

**Alice POV**

A tear spilled onto the page, smudging a little of the ink. I didn't care. It wasn't like anyone else was going to see this. I folded the letter neatly in three and put it into a cream envelope and sealed it. I always wrote a letter after i...you know. I always had, ever since the first time. It was my way of justifying what i had done - of explaining myself. I'm not sure who i was trying to explain myself _to_...

The first time had been an accident...well, no. You can't call it an accident, not really. Nothing paricularly bad had happened that day, i'm not sure what changed exactly. I just suddenly felt so overwhelmed by _everything_...everything spinning out of control around me, and having no way to stop it. I had been holding a metal ruler at the time. It wasn't sharp enough to _really_ cause any damage, but before i knew what had happened, i had pink scratches all up my arm.

I hadn't done anything for a while after that. I'd begun to wonder why i'd even done it. Then, i began to wonder if i really _had_ done it. The marks had only lasted a few days, and it was like it hadn't even happened. But i've never forgotten that sense of freedom and control i'd experienced when i did it, and about 5 months later, it happened again. It had been worse the second time, deeper and more painful - but i'd had more control. I'd taken a compass from my pencil case, and drawn two thin but deep lines on my upper arm. The marks had lasted for almost two weeks, but they had faded eventually. They always did.

I never used the obvious things; knives, razor blades...they were too _real_. Using them would mean i really was hurting myself, and i didn't trust myself to use them. It was easier to find other things, whatever was nearest...a jagged stone, a sharp peice of wood, a ruler, keys...No one had ever found out what i did; no one had seen me doing it, no one had noticed the scars. That was one advantage of being invisible to the world.

I was quiet as i slipped out of the front door, not that anyone was at home to hear me, and made my way towards the postbox. I'd left my coat at home, and my shirt only had three-quater length sleeves, but it was fine. I liked the cold outsidem - the harsh wind on my skin was nothing compared to the tornado of emotions that followed me wherever i went.

I closed my eyes as i put the envelope through the postbox, feeling the cool paper slip through my fingers. That was it, it was done. Until the next time.

**Jasper POV**

Saturday morning meant helping out at the post-office. The job Dad had got me - due to buying the post-office when we moved here a couple of weeks ago - was okay, but it wasn't very _meaningful_. It involved sorting letters into different addresses, then sorting letters into different areas, then sorting letters into different piles for each delivery man. My Dad wanted me working there so i could 'follow in his footsteps', but what kind of job was running a post-office? I wanted to be a lawyer, to _help_ people. But, to do that i needed to go to college. And to go to college - as my parents kept reminding me - i needed money. So, post-office job it was.

My Dad dumped another sack of letters infront of me and i resisted the urge to roll my eyes. One letter caught my eye - a creamy envelope with no address and no stamp. I picked it up and studied it.

"Hey Dad, what do i do with this?" I asked. He looked at it, before shrugging.

"If there's no return address or sending address just chuck it out." He said. I nodded as he walked out of the sorting room to get on with some 'important post-office stuff'.

I reached for the trash can to chuck out the letter, but then stopped. Maybe there was a return address inside? I knew it was wrong to open other people's letters, but it might help find the sender. I slid my thumb under the flap and opened the envelope. The letter slid out, and i unfolded it. No return address, but the first sentence caught my eye;

_**Anyone out there?**_

Curiosity took over, and i began reading the letter.

_**Anyone out there?**_

_**This time it seemed like it really was over. Two months with nothing, i thought somehow i was better. But i'll never get better. There's nothing left inside of me anymore.**_

_**It was only supposed to be one cut this time, but one turned into four. I didn't loose control, i just needed to do it a few more times. I felt better after that. Calm, relaxed. I didn't bleed. The marks will be gone in a few days, like nothing ever happened.**_

_**I had to do it. I didn't have a choice. It was too much.**_

_**She looked right at me and i didn't know what she was going to do. People don't notice me, i don't like it when they do. I was scared of what she might say - scared of her saying **_**anything_, whether it was something bad or not. No one has spoken to me at school for almost a year, and i don't think _she_ has ever spoken to me. Why would she? I'm nothing and she's everything._**

**_So it wasn't my fault. It was my escape, my saviour. It always is._**

**_Forgive me._**

**_Alice_**

I stared at the letter in horror. Was this for real? If it was...I couldn't even comprehend it.

I didn't know many people at our school - i assumed the writer went to our school, it was the only one in our small town - and i didn't know anyone by the name of Alice. Who was she? What did this letter mean? Her life sounded awful...i wanted to help her, but how could i when i didn't even know who she was?

Why send a letter with no address? What did it mean? What did she want?

"Jasper?" I stuffed the letter into my pocket as my Dad walked back in. I don't know why, but i didn't want anyone else knowing about this. For some reason, this felt like a secret. I didn't know exactly what it was, but i was going to figure it out.

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**Heyy, so what do you guys think of Jasper? Just to clear things up, it was Jasper that Stacey was talking to in the last chapter, they're cousins and Jasper and his family have recently moved to the town.**

**Please review and let me know what you're thinking...and thanks to everyone who reviewed the last few chapters and everyone who favourited/followed :) :)**

**Next update real soon, so watch this space :)**

**~Kat**


	5. Step Five - Carry On

**Step Five ~ Carry On**

**Alice POV**

I woke up on Saturday to realise that i'd slept most of the day away. It was 3 o'clock in the afternoon before i untangled myself from the warmth of my bed and went downstairs in search of breakfast, only to find that i wasn't really hungry. Or rather, i was hungry, but the thought of eating anything made me nauseous. I grabbed my laptop and wasted the rest of the day doing random things and watching movies. Sleep came easy, knowing that the next day would be spent at home, away from people. All in all, a normal Saturday.

I woke up on Sunday, and felt like a ball of lead had formed in my stomach when i heard the noises from downstairs. Someone was home. So much for my day away from people. I tried to go back to sleep, but it was pointless. It was already nearly afternoon, and i rolled out of bed and threw on some clothes. Mom was downstairs making herself a sandwhich for lunch. That meant we had food in the house, i suppose.

I tried to creep out the back door, but she called out to me, "Alice? Where are you going? Aren't you going to say hello?"

I relunctantly walked into the kitchen, putting on a fake smile as i greeted my mother. "Hey Mom."

She gave me a stern look, "Why was there no food in the fridge?"

I shrugged, "I hadn't bought any."

"I left you $500 for food and bills, Alice!" She said, "And whilst we're on that subject, why is there no heating?"

"I forgot to pay it." I said

"So where had all the money gone?" Mom asked

"$300 of it's still there." I told her, "The rest went on food and electricity."

"You can't have bought much food if there's $300 left!" She said, narrowing her eyes at me.

"I bought what i needed." I said

"I worry about you Alice." She said, "I know i'm away a lot-"

"Mom, don't." I said.

"Alice, we need to talk about this!" She said

"Talk about what? You're not home a lot, so?" I said, "I don't mind, really."

Honestly, i preffered being home alone. I dreaded it when one of my parents were here. Mom didn't seem to realise this, "I can try to get home more, or I-

"Mom, it's fine." I said, "I've gotta go."

"Where?" She asked, as i grabbed my bag.

"To the library, i've got a research assignment." I lied

"Can't you just use your laptop?" She asked

"No, Mom, i can't!" I snapped, before slamming the door behind me.

~o.O.o~

I walked around town until my phone started ringing in my pocket. Mom. Great. I ignored the call, but made my way home. She was pacing when i got in, and greeted me with, "Where the hell have you been, Alice?"

"The library." I said

"I called you. Twice." She told me

"Sorry, my phone's on silent." I told her

"I wish you'd answer it! I was worried sick!" She said. As if. I bet she'd had her feet up with a cup of tea all afternoon.

"How long are you staying here for?" I asked, the question sounding polite and interested, instead of the pushy meaning it actually had.

"I'm staying tonight, but i have to leave again tomorrow afternoon." She said, sounding regretful, "I should see you quickly after school though, before i leave."

I made a mental note to stay at school late.

"I'm going to bed early, i'll see you tomorrow." I said, trailing up the stairs.

It wasn't like i didn't _love_ my mother. I mean, she was my mother, i _had_ to love her. But that didn't mean that spending time with her was easy. It was incredibly energy-consuming to put on a fake smile and act like everything was okay. I'd had to wear long sleeves today, to hide the marks from her. Weekends were days when i didn't have to worry about people noticing - or they were meant to be.

I didn't hate my mother. I just hated the reminder of what i used to be. What i was supposed to be. A kid, happy and energetic, hanging out and chatting with her Mom. I hadn't been that girl in a long time now.

It was easier to just accept what i was now as normal. I _was_ normal.

I didn't get to sleep until very late that night, dreading the next day and what it would hold.

I was right to be weary of it. Mom came into my room and woke me up in the morning. That was the first thing that went wrong. Second, she'd made me breakfast. As i rushed out of the door, she reminded me again to hurry back from school. _Sure,_ i thought to myself, _That's going to happen._

~o.O.o~

The day at school wasn't too bad. Well, by _my_ standards it wasn't too bad. Anyone else in my year would be kicking and screaming if they'd had the day i had. Shows how weak they are, i suppose.

I text my Mom at the end of the day; **Have to stay late at school, sorry i couldn't come and say goodbye. See you soon.**

She text me several times before i had the heart to reply, telling her i needed to turn my phone off as i was still at school. And that was that. She was gone, out of my life for another few weeks at least, if i was lucky.

I trailed down to the meadow i'd found a few years ago, and collapsed onto the grass, looking up at the clouds in the sky. I looked down at the cuts on my arm. They had faded slightly since yesterday, and they'd be gone soon. Then i could just carry on. Like always. I sighed, and felt a tear trickling down my cheek. Where had it all gone wrong?


	6. Step Six - Figure out Why

**Step Six ~ Figure Out Why**

**Alice POV**

It wasn't like there had been some tragic event that had turned my world upside down and made me this way. My life had never been...easy, shall we say, but i had always been able to deal with it. I'm not sure when things got too much...everything has always been difficult, ever since i could remember.

I guess the first thing wrong with my parents. Three years ago they 'seperated'. I'm pretty sure the only reason they aren't divorced is because there's never a time when they're both home long enough to sort out the legal work. So, 14 year old me dealt with the fights and resentment and blame-games of my childish parents. They're not so bad now - they never see each other, and hardly see me either. That's easier to deal with.

But that wasn't the reason i turned out like this. It may be _part_ of the reason, but i was messed up long before that. I think the thing about my life is, i have no life. It's not _bad_ per say, but it's not _good_ either. I always felt like _nothing_. Everyday was just numb, nothing really happened, and i found myself wondering what the point was.

Top that with everyday teenage troubles, bitchy high schoolers, the stress of schoolwork, and living in this god-foresaken town some people like to call Forks. I like to call it Hell. There's nothing here to _do_ here, nothing to take my mind off of my boring life. Nothing happens, everything just repeats everyday until you want to murder someone just so you have something to talk about in the lunch queue.

Anyway, i'm getting off track. The point is, it's impossible to track back what really went wrong in my life - why i turned out like i have. I never have, and i don't think i ever will be able to figure out why i do the things i do - why i hurt myself and why i cry, why i push everyone away and why i blend into the background unnoticed.

I have two things that relieve my pain; my semi-concious disturbing drawings, and self harm.

I know it's wrong and pathetic, but it's necessary. I always justify it to myself afterwards, i even write the letters. That's enough to keep me sane and to give me permission to do it again. And again and again and again. I've lost track of how many times i've done it - where and when and how deep. It doesn't really matter. It's endless, always there.

I was shaken out of my thoughts when it began to rain. Typical Forks weather. I sat up from where i had been led in the meadow for the past seven hours. I hadn't seen it get dark, but somewhere in my concious i had noted that i'd stopped watching the clouds and started counting the stars. The rain was getting heavier, and soon water was running down my nose and dripping from my hair. My salty tears mixed with the fresh rain water and i tasted the mixture as it ran over my lips. I wiped the water away from my face with my hands and shook my head lightly. I should go home before i caught hypothermia.

Lying on the kitchen counter was a pile of money - which i pushed aside without counting - and a note which i didn't have the heart to open and read. It would make me feel guilty and lonely and upset. I pushed it aside with the money.

Mom had paid all the bills for the next month before she left, but i didn't bother turning on the heating - partly out of habbit and partly because i'd rather be cold. I trailed upstairs and sank into my bed, unable to sleep even though it was nearly midnight. And so, i began the same battle i fought every night - sleep vs stare into blackness. Sleep took over eventually and promised to bring terrible tuesday round all the faster. Great.

~o.O.o~

I hadn't seen Stacey or Chelsea on Monday, but i had a class with them both today. Stacey glared at me as she walked in. I ignored it and turned to stare down at my notebook where a picture of an eery graveyard was forming in black biro. Nice, i thought to myself.

I was pretty sure Stacey was going to find me and scream at me or talk the entire football team into beating me up or _something_. But i got nothing except from the occasional glare. That was so un-stacey-like. If she had a problem with someone, they knew about it. Hell, _everyone_ knew about it, because Stacey would make that person's life an absolute misery. Maybe she realised that she couldn't make my life any more miserable than it already was.

That didn't stop me stressing though. And that meant that another fresh mark appeared on my arm that evening. But i was fine! After writing the usual letter and going out in the rain to post it, i forgot all about it and carried on with my tuesday evening.

~o.O.o~

**Jasper POV**

I didn't bother asking my Dad when i found another unaddressed cream coloured envelope in the mail bag. I just opened it and read it. And re read it. Because i still couldn't quite believe this girl was for real.

_**Hello?**_

_**It didn't take long this time - for it to happen again. Four days - the first marks hadn't complely faded and now another one lies fresh on top. It was only one this time though, so it's not so bad.**_

_**I was scared. I thought she was going to talk to me, or do something, and that petrified me. So i blended into the shadows more than usual, if that's possible.**_

_**Mom was home. Every moment was torturous, like i just needed to escape. Nothing's easy anymore, nothing's normal, nothing's nice. Everything is black and dark and hard and cold and...pain.**_

_**I feel better now, just after doing...this. I feel calm and even happy. Not properly happy like most people, not like i used to be, but as happy as i'll ever get. At least it took away some of the numbness of everyday life. At least it's **_**something_._**

**_So, forgive me._**

**_Alice._**

Who was this girl? This girl who needed to escape her own Mom? Who needed to blend into the shadows to escape speaking to someone? Who needed to hurt herself to feel even a tiny bit of happy?

I was going to find out, and i was going to help her.

I looked at the letter and felt a wave of sadness wash over me. It was going to be hard, and no doubt it would be painfully emotional, but i was going to do it anyway.

_I forgive you, Alice_.

* * *

**Heyy, sorry i took so long to update :( But i hope you like the chapter!**

**Thanks for all your reviews :) :) Any more reviews would be amazing, any ideas on what should happen? Or comments/questions?**

**Next update soon :)**

**~Kat**


	7. Step Seven - Wait

**Step Seven ~ Wait**

**Alice POV**

I was still waiting for Stacey to do something when Friday rolled around. It seemed like I'd been holding my breath all week and when the weekend finally came I let the breath out and starting breathing again. Nothing had happened. Since Tuesday she hadn't even looked it my direction. She'd probably decided I wasn't worth her time. She would have been right.

Saturday was spent on my laptop doing things that aren't worth remembering; games, movies, reading. None of it would make any difference to my life. Sunday was spent in much the same way. It wasn't until Sunday evening came around that I realised I was still waiting for _something_ to happen. And I didn't even know what. I didn't want Stacey to do anything - I didn't want _anyone_ to do anything that concerned me. And yet, I wanted _something_ to change. _Something_ to be different. I guess I'd been waiting for that for years.

Suddenly, I felt trapped inside, so I grabbed my coat and locked the front door behind me. I didn't walk anywhere in particular, I just walked until my legs felt like they were about to collapse, and I realised that tears had been trickling down my cheeks for the past god-knows-how-long. I made my way home and collapsed, exhausted onto the sofa, falling instantly asleep.

**Jasper POV**

"JASPER!" Stacey screeched down the phone, "I don't care if you're busy I need you _now_!"

"Stace, I'm in the middle of something." I said. Yeah, right in the middle of staring blankly at two letters that had been stashed in my bedside drawer since I opened them.

"This is important! I'm your cousin Jasper, you can't let me down!" Stacey said. I got the feeling she wouldn't back down until I went over there. Stacey had a nack for getting what she wanted, ever since we were little kids.

"Alright." I said, "I'll be over in half an hour."

"Be here in ten minutes." Stacey said, before hanging up. I rolled my eyes, but I knew I would do it.

I pulled up outside my uncles massive house exactly nine minutes later and Stacey stormed out of the front door towards my car.

"Have you seen this?" She cried, thrusting a newspaper at me. I skimmed the article.

"_Appleberry threatens newspaper in attempt to hide fraud_." I read, "Geez, Stace, your Dad threatened the newspaper?"

"No of course he didn't!" Stacey said. I read a little more.

"It kinda sounds like he did." I said

"JASPER!" Stacey shrieked. Oh god. "This Cullen guy is going to pay! Do you here me? You're going to help me, okay? You're a lawyer, right?"

"Well actually-" I began to tell her that I wouldn't be a lawyer for years, if I even got into college and law school, but she cut me off.

"Right, so you can help me here." She said, "They've got no right to print all this crap, have they? I mean, it's not true. They can't just make stuff up like that, can they? I mean it's called _News_ for a reason."

"Stacey, most of the media is made up." I told her

"Oh, what would you know?" She snapped, "That's not the point."

"What is the point?" I asked wearily.

"This guys daughter goes to our school." She said

"And..?" I asked, not liking where she was going.

"Well, that's the best way to get to him right?" She said

"Stacey, you can't hurt her that's insane!" I said

"Don't be stupid, of course I'm not going to hurt her!" Stacey said, rolling her eyes. I wouldn't put anything past Stacey, and I was half expecting the next words out of her mouth to be '_You _are'. Fortunately, they weren't. "But that doesn't mean we can't humiliate her and her family a little bit, does it?"

"I dunno Stace," I said, "I don't think that's really fair. She never did anything to you."

"Look at what her father did!" Stacey shrieked, jabbing the newspaper I was still holding.

"I still don't think-" I began

"Look, it's not like I'm asking you to kill someone Jasper!" She said, "It's not even something we can get in trouble for."

I didn't like how she was using 'we'. "You already have a plan?"

"Yes, and it's a brilliant one." Stacey assured me, "All you have to do is break her heart."

"Stacey-" I began, but she cut me off.

"Look, it's nothing! Just pretend to like her, take her on a few dates, then ditch her in front of everyone." She said

"No, Stacey!" I said, "That's not fair."

"Jasper, we're family." She said, "You know I'd do anything for you, wouldn't you do the same for me?"

"Stacey that's not the point!" I said

"Okay, I'm gunna make you a deal here Jasper." She said, "You want to go to a good college, right? And Law school?"

"Yeah...?" I said, not sure where she was going.

"And how much is that going to cost?" She asked, but carried on before I could answer, "More than you have. I'm sure I could persuade my father to be generous with his money...if you do this teeny little thing for me."

I stared at her for a moment. Was she offering to put me through college and law school? That was an offer I couldn't refuse. Still...this didn't feel right. I didn't want to put anyone through pain that they didn't deserve.

"Or I could tell my Dad to pull all his funding out of your parents little post office business and you could move back to wherever it was you came from." Stacey said, examining her manicure. My attention snapped back to her. Her Dad wouldn't do that...would he? Surely he wouldn't do that to his own brother? And yet...I was pretty sure he would do anything Stacey asked him to. And I couldn't do that to my parents, not when they loved this new life so much.

Stacey had done it again. She'd gotten her way, and she'd used the most deceitful means of getting it. I felt like glaring at her, but I didn't. "Fine. I'm in."

"I knew you'd do the right thing, Jasper!" She said. She called this the right thing? Her morals were even lower than mine. And mine felt pretty low right about now...

**Alice POV**

Monday morning came around way to fast, and I was back at school, sat in my back corner carefully watching Stacey and waiting for her to do something. She _had_ to do something sooner or later. My stupid father had printed another article about Stacey's Dad, and I could only imagine her reaction to it. It wouldn't have been pretty.

But, yet again, nothing happened. Just another ordinary Monday. I couldn't tell if I was relieved or disappointed. Of course, I didn't know then that something catastrophically life changing was going to happen very, _very_, soon.

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**Heyy, so Jasper came off quite bad in this chapter I guess, but don't worry because he's good at heart.**

**I'm having a slight case of writers block with this story :/ I know what's going to happen in the future but I've got no idea how to tie it in and stuff so uggghhhhh :/:/:/**

**Thanks for all you reviews :) Keep reading and reviewing! :) :)**

**Bye for now**

**~Kat**


	8. Step Eight - Run from Everything

**Step Eight ~ Run from Everything**

**Jasper POV**

Stacey pointed towards a girl sat by herself on a table in the cafeteria, with nothing but a notebook in front of her. I frowned, the moral battle still going on in my head as to whether this was as terribly wrong as it felt.

"Jasper, you agreed to this, remember?" Stacey said, as if reading my thoughts, "Think about what I can give you in return...or what I can take from you if you bail."

God, she really was evil. "I know."

"Well, get on with it then!" Stacey said, "She's not going to fall for you if you just stand around here staring at her."

I nodded, and Stacey click-clacked away in her heels to go and fill Chelsea in on her 'brilliant plan'. I made my way over towards the girl, looking her over as I did. She had a short, spikey, pixie cut, which looked feminine on her. She was wearing jeans and a baggy grey hoodie and sneakers. Her hand holding a pencil which was gliding across the pages of her notebook. It looked like she was drawing something detailed and intricate, and yet she wasn't even looking at what her hand was doing. She was staring into space as if in a trance. She didn't even notice me approaching her.

"Hi." I said. She didn't respond, so I said it again, louder. "Hi." Still nothing. "Hello?"

Was she purposefully ignoring me? I waved my hand in front of her face and she seemed to snap out of her trance. Her eyes grew wide as she saw me and without saying anything, she grabbed her notebook and school bag and bolted out of the cafeteria.

What was up with _that_?

**Alice POV**

I was hyperventilating.

I lent against the door of the toilet cubicle I'd locked myself in. I was in some coffee shop in town, I think - I hadn't really paid attention as I had run with blind panic inside.

Someone had _spoken_ to me. After so long, someone at school had said actual _words_ to me. He had come right up to me in the cafeteria. He had noticed me. Oh God, this was _sooooo_ bad.

I hadn't even noticed the scratches I'd made on my arm with a paperclip I'd found in my bag. Loads of shallow scratches messily on top of each other up my arm. They weren't deep at all. It hadn't hurt much, which is why I had needed to do it so many times, I guess.

Who _was_ that guy? Why was he talking to me? It had to be some kind of a joke, right? Maybe someone had dared him to come talk to the freak who sat by herself. No, that couldn't be it. No one at school even knew I existed, so why had one of them approached me. He had actually _seen_ me? _Noticed_ me?

I felt that one. Deeper, longer, and more precise. Still not deep enough to draw blood, and it wouldn't leave a mark, but it was more painful than the dozens of scratches from just moments ago.

What was going to happen now? Would I see him again? God, I hoped not. Would he try and talk to me? Oh my God, what would he say? Would he be angry? Would he demand to know why I'd run out on him like that?

Deeper still. It was beginning to hurt. That one might leave a mark for a day or two, I thought. The paperclip in my hand had somehow been replaced with my keys. They would do more damage - they would hurt more.

Worse still, what if other people had noticed that he was talking to me? They wouldn't, would they? No one noticed me...except him, I guess. But he looked like the kind of guy who attracted attention - he was drop dead _gorgeous_. Which made me worry all the more. Had someone seen him? Had people watched him come over and talk to me? Oh God. Oh God. Oh God.

That one would definitely leave a mark, for a couple of days at least. It had been painful this time. Good, I needed that. Really, really needed it.

Because, when I stopped, I would have to go somewhere else. I would have to do something. I couldn't go back to school. Not today. But I would have to eventually. And then...I didn't know what would happen. I didn't like not knowing. It scared me. _Anything_ could happen.

I gasped in pain and looked down at my arm. Blood.

"Stop, Alice." I whispered to myself. My hand was shaking as I dropped the key into my bag.

I pulled my hoodie back on over my arms, still shaking as I stood up and exited the bathroom. I made my way home and let myself in, collapsing onto the sofa and letting the tears flow freely down my cheeks.

**Jasper POV**

Another letter came through today.

_**Is anyone there?**_

_**Exactly one week. That's how long it took for it to happen again. Seven days. I'm getting worse, I know, but I can't seem to stop. Things have been happening recently, things that aren't supposed to happen. Today was awful. I didn't know what to do. I had to get out of there, and I did, but it wasn't enough. It wasn't enough to just get out of that room, I needed to get out of **_**me_. I didn't feel right in my own skin, I just wanted out!_**

**_And so, it was bad._**

**_Really bad._**

**_It only bled for a little while, but I knew it shouldn't have bled at all. It's not like it hasn't happened before, of course. But not for a while, and I thought...I thought maybe I wouldn't ever again. I thought maybe I was getting better. But I'm not._**

**_I'm not strong enough for that. I needed to bleed, and so I did. And it made me feel better. All the mental pain bled away with it. Thick red blood, escaping my body the way I wish I could escape my mind. It isn't usually about the blood for me - it doesn't matter if I bleed or not. As long as I get the release, and the truth is...that comes a lot easier when there is blood._**

**_Is that so bad?_**

**_All I am doing is taking emotional pain and turning it into physical pain. Why is that a terrible thing? After all, physical wounds are easier to heal. Give me a Band-Aid, and it will all be okay tomorrow. It's always okay tomorrow._**

**_Forgive me._**

**_Alice._**

This was bad. I don't think I'd quite realised just how bad it was until reading this third letter. Blood. She had cut so deep, she had made herself bleed. This was dangerous. This was serious. I toyed with the idea of telling my Dad, but what could he do? I didn't know who Alice was, and as far as I could see I had no idea of finding out. I pushed the idea away. No, I wouldn't tell anyone. But I was going to help this girl. I _was_.

* * *

**Heyy, sorry I took so long to update, but I think I'm finally over my writers block! :)**

**What did you think of Alice and Jasper's first meeting? Not much really happened I guess :/**

**Thanks for all your reviews, and thank you to everyone who put forward ideas :) :) Hoped you liked this chapter, please review!**

**Next update soon!**

**~Kat**


	9. Step Nine - Hide

**Step Nine ~ Hide**

**Alice POV**

I stayed off school the next day. How could I have gone in? What if _he_ had been there? What if he had come up to me again? What if he had _spoken_ to me again? It had taken me hours to calm down when I'd gotten home that day. I'd been shaking and crying all evening. I was upset and angry and _scared_. So I'd written my letter and gone to bed, and I didn't get up the next day until the afternoon.

I stayed off school the day after that as well. And the next day. And then it was the weekend and I had two days where I didn't have to worry. But when Monday came round I knew I had to go back. The staff at school didn't notice me, but the computer system would know that I'd been off school for three days. I didn't want them to notice that. Then they might notice all the other times I'd stayed off school. They might try and ring my parents. That couldn't happen.

So I went into school. The morning was normal; I sat at the back of class, no one noticed me. No one asked where I had been, no one even looked at me. It was bliss. My nerves were building up for lunch time though. Lunch was when he'd come before. Would he come again? The nervousness resulted in more absentminded messed up drawings than usual - a girl trapped in a storm cloud, a tiny doll drowning in water, and a woman screaming in pain, all in my first two lessons.

When the bell rang for lunch, I didn't dare go to the cafeteria. Instead, I hid out in the girls bathroom. He couldn't come in here. He couldn't find me here. So I spent the lunch staring at the door of a little toilet cubicle, and several small drawings of people in pain appeared on the walls. God, I really was messed up.

When lunch ended, I went to my next class. And that's when I saw him.

It was English AP class, which meant that there were several different years in the same class. I would have guessed this guy to be a senior, and I was a junior, which I had assumed would mean we didn't have any classes together. I had been wrong.

There he was; sat bang in the centre of the room talking to Chelsea of all people. If he was talking to Stacey's best friend, he probably knew Stacey. Hell, everyone knew Stacey. His attention flicked towards me when I walked in the room. I avoided his gaze and walked straight to the back of the room, but I could feel his eyes on me. Oh God, don't start hyperventilating right here in the middle of class.

I sat with my eyes straight on my desk, but I _knew_ he was watching me. I reminded myself to breath and got out my notebook. It was going to be fine. He couldn't come up to me in class. The teacher had started the lesson now, and you'd be an idiot to get up in the middle of Mr Packson's class - if you didn't want detention until you were forty, that is.

I tuned out to the lesson, not daring to look up from my drawing even once in the whole hour. When the bell rang, I was the first one out of the classroom. I went to my next class, but couldn't concentrate. I sat at the back on the brink of a panic attack as I thought about _him_. Since when had he been in my class? Had he always been there, and I'd just been too zoned out to notice? Or was he new? That would make sense - I didn't recognise him.

But what was he doing here? We didn't get new people here very often. And more to the point, if he was new, why had he chosen me out of hundreds of other students to come and talk to at lunch the other day? Me, the girl who _no one_ noticed. The girl who no one spoke to. He had done both of those things. I hated not knowing any of the answers - not knowing what was going to happen.

Home was welcoming. I was alone, something I'd been craving all day. There was a note on the kitchen counter. It was from Dad, saying that he'd been home today but had to leave again. He'd left another $300. I pushed it away with the money that had still been untouched from Mom. I still had money from the_ last_ time Mom had been home. They gave me way too much; I only really bought food. I never used the heating, and rarely used the lights. The only electricity I used was the fridge, the mini-heater in the lounge and to occasionally charge my phone or laptop. My eyes flicked across the note Mom had left with the money when she left. It was still unopened. I hadn't had the emotional strength to read it, and I still didn't. It would make me feel upset and lonely. It would make me cry. It would make me do bad things.

So it stayed there, with the ever-growing pile of money and with Dad's note too. It could all wait for another day. A day when I didn't already feel like the world was caving in around me. I didn't bother going upstairs, opting to sleep on the sofa instead. And that was the end of Monday.

**Jasper POV**

She was at school today.

I'd been worried when she'd skipped school last week. The way she'd looked at me and bolted out of the cafeteria, it was like I'd scared the life out of her. And then she wasn't in school the next day and...I didn't know _what_ had happened.

But she was there today. I didn't see her at lunch, and I assumed she was off school again, but then she turned up in English AP. I don't know if she saw me. She _must_ have seen me, but she ignored the smile I offered her, and went straight to sit at the back of the room. I even turned around to look at her a few times during class, but she was always just staring at her desk. It was like she was _purposefully_ avoiding my gaze.

I didn't know what was up with her, but Stacey was putting pressure on me to hurry up. She wasn't exactly being helpful - she couldn't even tell me a name! She said she didn't know it, or didn't remember it. I didn't understand how she couldn't remember the name of someone she'd been going to school with all her life. All the information I got was that she was the daughter of Declan Cullen. To Stacey, that was all that mattered. She didn't care who the girl was, she just wanted revenge on her father. And she knew exactly how she wanted to do it.

She had given me a lecture earlier, about her plan and what she wanted me to do. She'd even got Chelsea in on it. And I still didn't want to do it, but what could I do? I couldn't ruin my parent's lives by bailing out and have Stacey make her Dad pull the funding for the post office. We'd have to move back to Texas, and Dad would have to go back to working in the factory that he hated, and Mom would go back to be friends with all the neighbours that she secretly found annoying. Moving to Forks was a new start for both of them, and they loved it. Running a post office might not be much, but it was important to them. How could I take all that away from them?

So, whoever this girl was, she was going to be hurt by me. I'd apologize to her afterwards - of course I would! But it wouldn't be enough. She'd done nothing to deserve any pain, and I would be the absolute jerk who broke her heart. She'd never forgive me - I wouldn't expect her to.

But, before any of that happened, I needed to get her to stop ignoring me...

* * *

**Heyy, so what do you think? The storyline is gunna pick up really soon, so stay tuned!**

**Thank you so much to everyone who's reviewed, and everyone who's favourited/followed! You make my day :D**

**Keep reviewing! :) :)**

**~Kat**


	10. Step Ten - Ignore Your Problems

**Step Ten ~ Ignore Your Problems**

**Alice POV**

Days passed in a blur; Tuesday, Wednesday, Thursday, Friday.

I saw him again, but he made no effort to approach me. I saw Stacey too, but she'd obviously decided to let this slide, for some reason, as she didn't do anything.

The weekend passed without any excitement, and then Monday rolled around again. And that was when it all happened, like a morbid repeat of last week.

It was lunchtime, and I'd sat back in the cafeteria for the first time since that day. It turned out to be a mistake. A big mistake.

He started walking in the direction of my table, a tray of food in his hands, and stood beside me. "Do you mind?"

I stared at him. Don't bolt. Don't do it. Don't run away.

He seemed to take this as an invitation to sit down, forcing me to dig my fingernails into the underside of the table just to keep me from running out of the room. I watched him, trying to figure out what he was going to do next. He offered me a smile, "I'm Jasper."

I waited, expecting him to ask why I ran off the other day, or why I was blatantly ignoring him right now. But he didn't, he just smiled at me and looked at me expectantly. What was he waiting for?

I decided the best thing was probably to just ignore him. Maybe he'd think I was weird and just go away.

So, I went back to my notebook, adding to what looked like a bleeding woman. Pleasant.

"Can I see?"

I'd almost forgotten he was sat in front of me. My head snapped up, and I slammed the notebook shut. No way in hell was anyone seeing what was in there!

The bell rang for the end of lunch, and I shot up from my seat. Turning on my heel, I walked quickly away from him before he could say anything else. Why had he spoken to me again? It had taken all my willpower just to stay in my heat with him near me. Couldn't he just leave me alone?

I didn't go straight to class, but I took a detour to the bathrooms instead. I needed to relieve some stress, and I knew one quick fix that always worked.

**Jasper POV**

Another letter came through, and it broke my heart a little more.

_**Anybody reading this?**_

_**It happened again. It's happening too much. It shouldn't be this often, but I can't help it. I need it.**_

_**He was there today. It was too much. I pushed myself to stay, but it was too much. It wasn't my fault, I needed to do it. I needed to get the stress and pain out, so I cut again. Not badly; two short cuts. They'll be fine. It's not anything to worry about.**_

_**It's not.**_

_**Forgive me.**_

_**Alice.**_

I folded the letter neatly, and placed it in the drawer beside the others. I'd said I was going to help this girl, but what had I done to help so far? Nothing. I didn't know who she was. All I had was a name.

_Alice._

~o.O.o~

**Alice POV**

The next day, he tried again. He sat opposite me at lunch and tried talking to me whilst I ignored him. This time, it was a little easier; I knew what was going to happen, and that made it less intimidating. I still didn't like it, and it still made me want to run as far away as I could, but it was easier.

Wednesday came around and he sat down with me again. He asked me questions; Was I interested in art? What subjects did I take? Was I part of any of the school clubs? They were simple enough questions, but still he got no answers. That didn't stop him, and he was there on Thursday lunchtime too. By now, I'd learned to drown out his voice and become absorbed in my drawing instead, hardly noticing his presence at my table.

Friday was exactly the same - it was becoming a normality for him to sit with me at lunch and talk aimlessly as I ignored him. What did he want? I had to wonder. Why was he doing this? Trying again and again to get a response from me, when it was obvious he wouldn't get one? No one had tried this hard with me since...well, ever.

But unless I wanted to speak up and ask him - which I didn't see happening any time soon - I was just going to have to wonder what his reasons were.

**Jasper POV**

I watched the girl with interest as she made her way across the school parking lot. All week I had been sitting with her at lunch, and she still hadn't uttered a single word to me. At least she hadn't run away this time.

Why did she ignore me? What had I done to make her act that way towards me?

I grabbed my bag and began following her out of the school gates. I was going to find out what her problem was, and I was going to do it now.

She walked down the main road for a while, before cutting down a residential street. I followed her and soon caught up with her. "Hey, wait!"

She didn't make any effort to stop, so I called out again. Slowly, she turned around - as if unsure if I were talking to her. When she saw me, her eyes grew wide and fearful, and she looked like she might take off again at any moment.

"Wait!" I said, before she could run away, "I need to talk to you." She only looked more scared at this. "What have I done to you?" Now she looked curious, "You ignore me, you run away from me, you look like a deer caught in headlights every time you see me, so what did I do?"

**Alice POV**

I stared at him. What was happening?

My legs twitched, my body longing me to run away and escape. My hands flicked at my sides, desperate to inflict some kind of pain on my body that would distract me from this situation. My eyes darted around, looking out every possible escape route even though I knew I wasn't going to run away. Something in my mind was forcing me to stay routed to the spot. What was it he'd just said about a deer in headlights?

He was looking at me expectantly, "Well? Are you just going to ignore me again or are you going to answer me?"

How could I talk to him? How could I talk to anyone? My body was screaming at me to run; feeling trapped like a gazelle in front of a hungry lion.

"I've been talking to you all week!" He said, "All week, and you haven't even said one word! You've not even told me your name!"

My name. He wanted my name. I was pretty sure it had been forgotten by most people at our school. The girl without a name, the one who lingers in the corner unnoticed, the one who sits alone. Well, who used to sit alone. Until him.

"Well?" He said, staring at me, "Are you really not going to answer me?"

Why was he even trying? Why was he doing this? Didn't he understand that I didn't want to be here?

"No?" He asked, "Jesus Christ, you won't even tell me your name?"

My lips twitched, urging me to just tell him. But I couldn't. I couldn't talk to him, I couldn't tell him my name. Wrapping my arms around myself, I dug my nails into my skin, trying to get away from this horrible situation. The battle in my mind was raging; one side saying that I should just tell him my damn name, the other side saying that I needed to get away from this situation, _now_.

**Jasper POV**

I almost let out a sigh as I turned away from her. Why was she like this? Why couldn't she just talk to me? I'd only been in the town a few weeks, what could I have possibly done to make her act this way towards me?

At the next words out of her mouth, the puzzle fell into place and everything starting making sense.

"Alice." She said, her voice barely above a whisper, "My name is Alice."

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**Before I say anything else, I want to apologize for taking soooooo long to update! I've been super busy with my other stories :(**

**But, that aside, what do you think? Jasper finally knows who she is!**

**Review! :)**


	11. Step Eleven - Run AwayAgain

**Step Eleven ~ Run away...again**

**Jasper POV**

"Alice?" I repeated, not quite believing it. I must have misheard; she'd said it so quietly after all. This girl stood in front of me couldn't be the Alice I'd been looking for.

Who was I kidding? She _had_ to be the Alice I'd been looking for. It explained everything; the odd behaviour, the silent treatment, why she seemed scared of me. As I skimmed over the letters in my mind, things began to fall into place.

_I had to get out of there..._

_Things have been happening recently, things that aren't supposed to happen..._

_He was there today..._

She'd been talking about me.

**Alice POV**

Why had I said that? Why had I told him my name?

He was watching me carefully, as if he knew that I could run off at any moment. I was gripping my arms, and my nails were digging into my flesh but I hardly noticed the pain.

"You're Alice?" He asked gently. That was enough to break me out of my little trance. I took off at full speed, not caring that I was running away from home.

"Alice wait!" He called. Oh God, he was chasing after me! What if he caught up to me? Considering I hadn't participated in gym class for over a year, and he was at least a good foot taller than me, there was a good possibility that he would.

His hand caught my wrist and I froze. It took him a second to stop running and he almost crashed straight into me, "Alice?"

I didn't say anything.

I _shouldn't_ have said _anything_!

I just stared at the ground whilst he waited for a reply. When he didn't get one, he continued, "Alice, please talk to me."

"Let me go." I hissed. Surprised by my tone, he dropped my wrist. I turned away, desperate to get away from this situation, when something stopped me. I turned back to face him, "Why did you follow me?"

"I know you're...going through a hard time." He said. A hard time? What the hell did he know? "I know that you're depressed - if that word can even cover it."

I didn't say anything, I just stared at him. No one had ever noticed that I had changed from my old bubbly self - mainly because no one ever noticed me, period. But _he_ did. He noticed me, he noticed things about me that no one else did.

"You need help, Alice." He said.

Uh-oh. Wrong thing to say. My instincts took over and I was gone; running away from him as fast as I could.

_You need help_.

Those were the words that I never wanted to hear. Those words were the reason I hid everything from my parents. The reason no one knew how messed up I was. I didn't want help. I didn't want people to think I needed help.

_You need help._

I don't need help. Everything was under control. Everything _is_ under control.

_You need help._

No. I. Don't.

Even as I'd been running, scratches had appeared all up my arms - caused by nothing but my own fingernails. I _don't_ need help. Everything is under control. I've got it under control. I've got it all under control...

As my vision started to go fuzzy, I vaguely remembered that I hadn't eaten anything yet today and that I'd done more exercise in the last half hour than I'd done in as long as I could remember...

I started falling but this time someone caught me.

* * *

**Heyyyyy :) I know this is super short, but I wanted to get something up! The next chapter will be longer and I'll get it up fairly soon :)**

**Thanks to everyone who's reviewed! Keep it up ;)**


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